Leslie Ash is one of those women who has really blossomed with age. As you can see from the photos above, she was never much of a looker in her younger years (far right hand side), perhaps it’s the pea-green cardigan that does it but she now looks simply divine. Mother says she caught a disease from having rough sex with her boyfriend and it made her face go funny, but I don’t believe that. I know Leslie had some cosmetic surgery a few years ago, and I believe she was not happy at first, however I think it was only a matter of time before she realised how alluring her new pouting lips were. Mother is always very jealous of anyone who has had successful surgery as she had a breast enlargement done by one of my uncles on the cheap, and now she has to tuck her left breast into the waist band of her elasticated skirts.

Now it transpires that Leslie has won 5 million pounds in a hospital lottery, and I don’t know why but she has become even more attractive to me. I have done nothing but think about the life that we could have together, the coming together of her money, looks and love of rough sex with my sheer desperation to bang anything that moves (even at a slow pace with a stick). I would like to have rough sex with you Leslie, and I would make sure there were cushions on the floor next to the bed (as long as mother is out) so if either of us fell out we wouldn’t hurt ourselves. Although the thought of you hurting me with that stick makes me look like I’ve had a stroke too.

Tony, a Man Behaving Badly comments on this article (Sunday, January 20, 2008 - 06:06 PM):

I agree, Horatio. I never thought she was much of a looker when I lived downstairs from her. The only reason I was so keen to get hold of her was because Gary had a girlfriend. Deborah, or "Leslie" is now in a different league and I don't think I would be able to take no for an answer. (Just to be clear, I'm referring to my ability to keep trying no matter how many times I get a rejection, not that I am a rapist!)